Just between us, my friend Sarah does a monthly Confessions post that I freaking love reading. She gets a bunch of stuff of her chest, her readers do the same in the comments, and everyone feels a whole lot better after.
I've been wanting to steal this idea for a while (and Sarah has been encouraging me to steal it) and I'm finally getting off my lazy butt and doing it. So here we go. Just between us....
1. I've never understood the appeal of beach hair. Like, why do people buy salt water spray to put in their hair to achieve beach hair? My hair is a DISASTER in salt water.
2. I killed my scoby because I just could not take care of one more living thing. Just unceremoniously dumped Tobes and the microbes into the garbage. I'm a terrible person.
3. Why is it that the quintessential dad smell is a combination of toothpaste and coffee and farts? I always associated that particular smell with my own dad, and now I smell it in the mornings when I get up and my husband has left for his early morning run. I'm telling ya; dad smell.
4. Speaking of my husband, he is currently missing a tooth. Three of his front teeth are fake (have been since he was a kid) and they all need replacing with proper implants. He had the first one out in the spring and it has to heal for six months until he can get the implant, and though he has a prosthetic tooth he prefers to rock the toothless look, which he thinks is awesome.
I do not think it's awesome. In fact, I straight up love him less without that tooth. There. I said it. I am a shallow, shallow person.
5. I wash my cast iron pan with soap and water Every. Single. Time I use it and I'm not sorry.
6. I sleep with socks on 75% of the year because my feet get so cold that they keep me awake. And no, it's not a simple matter of tucking my feet into the blankets. They are icicles and need to be nestled in socks nearly year round.
7. My dad once told me that you shouldn't wear shorts on an airplane because they might get caught on the slide in the event of an emergency evacuation, and I have never, ever worn shorts on an airplane. I don't know if this is a true thing or not, and my dad is certainly not an avid traveller so it may just be one of those things that dads say, but my husband, who is a frequent traveller, insists on wearing shorts on pretty much all flights and it freaks me the hell out every single time.
8. I've had this Katy Perry song in my head for a couple of months now and I can't get it out. When it's just me and the boys at home I blast it as loud as possible and we dance our faces off and it's the best. Does this make me a Katy Perry fan? I'm kind of ok with it if it does.
9. Do people who wear those big buns on top of their heads not get the worst ponytail headaches? I can't even deal with an all-day ponytail myself, so I always wonder this when I see them.
10. I think I have imposter syndrome about being a grownup. I see other parents at my kid's daycare and I always think how grown up they seem and then I remember that I'm likely the same age if not older. But they seem so grown up!
Ok, now it's your turn! What weird things are rattling around in your brain? What do you need to get off of your chest? Let's talk about it!
Haley
I have a cleaner. I'm single, no kids or pets and live in a one bedroom. It frees my mind AND I firmly intend on keeping one despite what anyone thinks. It is a full time job to run a household and I already have one of those. She even helped me hang curtains and she has the hoover so #winning
1. I am currently not speaking to my toxic family members and I feel guilty and sad but it's better for me.
2. I asked for dairy milk at this trendy plant based cafe. The barista sort of judged me for it but I am happy AF with my full fat milk on my double shot Americano.
3. I'm currently heartbroken.
Katie Trant
1. Good for you! And sorry that it's hard.
2. You did the right thing. Regular milk is the only milk I can deal with in my tea.
3. I'm so sorry for your broken heart ????
C
I feel like I have so many of these. Even writing them down makes me feel like a petty b****, but I'm going to roll with it.
1. I do not like having a dog. I have one and constantly wish I didn't. Thinking this makes me feel like a terrible person, every time.
2. I brought up the idea of getting a housekeeper a few years ago to my husband. He responded with such disdain, and all I remember is being made to feel like I was an entitled snob. I never brought it up again. He just sent me an online forum in which people are talking about how awesome it is and worth it to have someone come clean your house. It's like he thinks he came up with the idea. This ticks me off.
3. I additionally feel kind of guilty about getting someone to clean the house, like it's a personal failing for not being able to keep up, even though I work full time in a job that affords me money for housekeeping. The patriarchy also ticks me off.
4. There are few things more disgusting to me than mushrooms. As a vegetarian I HATE that everyone thinks a stuffed mushroom is an acceptable choice. It is not! The only way I can eat mushrooms is if they are pulverized and hidden in something.
5. I am less attracted to my husband when he eats in front of me. I think his mother should have taught him more polite eating habits.
Katie Trant
Love this so much.
1. We had a dog when I was growing up and I loved him, but I have no interest in having a dog now. So much work! So annoying to look after!
2. Ugh. So typical.
3. I used to have a housekeeper and it was awesome! Keep in mind that you're providing an income for someone who needs one. I also calculate cost based on what I charge per hour for my own work, and it's far too expensive for me to clean my own house. When we're back up to two full-time incomes I plan on signing up again. But yes, fuck the patriarchy.
4. ALL OF THIS SO MUCH. I'm a fellow mushroom-hating vegetarian and they are the literal bane of my existence.
5. Or maybe she did and that's just how he is. I think we blame mothers too much. Sounds gross though, and I totally understand.
JEn
OMG the cast iron pan thing! I have not used mine since my partner made a massive horrified face when I washed it using soap and water. I will ignore in future!
Katie Trant
It's a myth! Kenji Lopez from Serious Eats says you can wash it in soap and water, just don't let it soak in the sink. I do season my cast iron quite regularly, and it's in super good shape. But I'm a vegetarian and my husband is not, so whenever he uses it to cook a steak or something, I give it a good wash! https://www.seriouseats.com/2014/11/the-truth-about-cast-iron.html