Just between us is when we get together once a month or so and say the things that you think but don’t really say. Or you do say, but only to certain people. I’ll go first, then you share in the comments and everyone will feel a whole lot better.
Just between us…
1. You know what drives me insane? Automatically numbered lists. Every time I type the number one followed by a bracket or a period, my computer or phone assumes I want to make a numbered list and starts auto-formatting it for me.
You know what, computer? I DO want to make a number list but I also want to be master of my own formatting. Don’t presume to know what I want, ok?
I also cannot figure out how to stop automatic numbered lists in the notes app on my phone, and it drives me nuts to the point that I now have to make all of my numbered lists without periods or brackets behind the number, which I do not enjoy but it’s the lesser of two evils. Seriously, why can I not just make a list the way I want to make a list, technology?!
2. One bit of technology that I am kind of in love with is listening to Siri’s voice in my earballs. I’ve discovered that when I have my AirPods in, I can just say “hey Siri” and then she’ll say, “Mmmhmm?” or “What can I do for you?” in the sweetest, most caring voice.
I say, “turn up the volume, please” or “start playing this podcast, please” (I am always very polite to Siri) and then I ask her to do a few more things because it’s just SO NICE that someone cares about me that much.
So if you see a crazy lady riding her bike around saying, “Siri, could you turn the volume up? Actually, could you turn it up a bit more. Ok thanks. Could you turn it down?” It’s not because it’s hard to find the perfect volume, it’s because she’s just so damn nice to me. And asking her to do it is easier than stopping, taking my phone out of my pocket, and changing the volume myself.
3. Whenever I wake up in the morning and look at my phone and it’s after 6am, I wonder if my kid is dead.
I do not get up to check, because I figure if he is dead I may as well be well-rested, and I know that if he is not dead, which is the more likely scenario, that going in to check on him will only wake him up and we may as well both enjoy this sleep in.
4. When my older son was littler, and an only child, I used to love spoiling the hell out of him. Whenever we went out I’d buy him a treat or a small toy or something.
Now he is four, and much more verbal, and there are two of them, and my treat-buying days are OVER because those ungrateful little demons are never satisfied, no matter what. The incessant whining, asking for, and demanding stuff has chipped away at my drive to spoil, and now I understand why treats and presents are supposed to be rare.
5. I have a denim jacket that I almost never wear because I have this thing about Canadian tuxedos. But why is it ok to wear a leather jacket with leather pants, but not a denim jacket with a pair of jeans? Who decides these things?
I guess I need to get more non-denim pants? Is black denim ok with a blue denim jacket? Clothes confuse me at the best of times (don’t even get me started with the waistlines of pants right now… WHERE IS IT SUPPOSED TO GO?!) and this just makes it worse.