Just between us is when we get together once a month or so and say the things that you think but don’t really say. Or you do say, but only to certain people. I’ll go first, then you share in the comments and everyone will feel a whole lot better.
Just between us…
1. Here’s a tip for living your best life that I want to pass along: whenever I meet someone, either in my private life or professionally, who I feel intimidated by, or who is fancier than me, or anything along those lines, I just remind myself that everybody poops.
I know the thing is to picture people naked or in their underwear, or whatever, but I guarantee that once you’ve pictured someone straining to drop a log, you fill feel absolutely on the same level. Say it with me: everybody poops.
2. You know what I think is perhaps the biggest scam of them all? Dudes who only look hot in hats. You know what I mean? If you’re just never going to take it off, then fine, but if your hotness dwindles by 25-ish percent when you remove your beanie, we’ve got a problem.
And I’m an old married lady! It’s not like I’m invested in what’s beneath the hat, but I appreciate honesty. Okay?
3. I have this weird thing where I have to put on a fresh pair of underwear whenever I shower, no matter for how long I was wearing the underwear before. I could have been wearing it for 15 minutes or 15 hours, but if I’m re-dressing myself, the gaunchies had better bee fresh.
Since I often work out on my lunch hour, this means I almost always have either a clean or dirty pair of underwear in my work backpack, which could be real interesting if I’m ever hit by a car on my way home.
These are the things that keep me awake at night.
4. I can not stand the feeling of food on my lips.
This started when I was in high school and used to wear really heavy lipstick. I’d scrape food off of my fork or spoon with my teeth rather than my lips because I didn’t want to mess my make up up, and it’s a habit that has stood the test of time.
Sometimes when I watch people eat and use their lips to move food off of their utensils, it weirds me out so much I have to look away.
5. I once worked with a guy who would always grab a banana from the office fruit basket every time he went to the bathroom, which fascinated me.
Did he take so long to poop that he needed a snack? (Remember: everybody poops!) Did he feel weird about eating in front of people and the bathroom was the most private place? Was something else going on with that banana?
I never figured it out. Nor did I probe (because: gross), but I still think about it now and then.
6. My first child is currently my favourite child (BECAUSE HE SLEEPS), but I think that my second child is cuter.