Just Between Us

Just between us is when we get together once a month or so and say the things that you think but don’t really say. Or you do say, but only to certain people. I’ll go first, then you share in the comments and everyone will feel a whole lot better.

Just between us…

1. Here’s a tip for living your best life that I want to pass along: whenever I meet someone, either in my private life or professionally, who I feel intimidated by, or who is fancier than me, or anything along those lines, I just remind myself that everybody poops.

I know the thing is to picture people naked or in their underwear, or whatever, but I guarantee that once you’ve pictured someone straining to drop a log, you fill feel absolutely on the same level. Say it with me: everybody poops. 

2. You know what I think is perhaps the biggest scam of them all? Dudes who only look hot in hats. You know what I mean? If you’re just never going to take it off, then fine, but if your hotness dwindles by 25-ish percent when you remove your beanie, we’ve got a problem.

And I’m an old married lady! It’s not like I’m invested in what’s beneath the hat, but I appreciate honesty. Okay?

3. I have this weird thing where I have to put on a fresh pair of underwear whenever I shower, no matter for how long I was wearing the underwear before. I could have been wearing it for 15 minutes or 15 hours, but if I’m re-dressing myself, the gaunchies had better bee fresh. 

Since I often work out on my lunch hour, this means I almost always have either a clean or dirty pair of underwear in my work backpack, which could be real interesting if I’m ever hit by a car on my way home. 

These are the things that keep me awake at night. 

4. I can not stand the feeling of food on my lips.

This started when I was in high school and used to wear really heavy lipstick. I’d scrape food off of my fork or spoon with my teeth rather than my lips because I didn’t want to mess my make up up, and it’s a habit that has stood the test of time. 

Sometimes when I watch people eat and use their lips to move food off of their utensils, it weirds me out so much I have to look away. 

5. I once worked with a guy who would always grab a banana from the office fruit basket every time he went to the bathroom, which fascinated me. 

Did he take so long to poop that he needed a snack? (Remember: everybody poops!) Did he feel weird about eating in front of people and the bathroom was the most private place? Was something else going on with that banana? 

I never figured it out. Nor did I probe (because: gross), but I still think about it now and then. 

6. My first child is currently my favourite child (BECAUSE HE SLEEPS), but I think that my second child is cuter.

 

Comments

  1. Nicole says

    I always put on fresh undies after a shower. It’s not weird, you’re clean and fresh and your gaunchies should be too!

    I wash most of my fruits and veggies as soon as they come home and the drawers in my fridge are designated washed produce and unwashed produce. My husband thinks I’m weird to wash the fruits you don’t eat the peel of, to which I respond how many times have you seen someone sneeze in their hands and then choose oranges and bananas.

    I also wash my cast iron pan with soap after most uses (you mentioned this a few posts ago) I especially do after my husband cooks meat in it.
    It drives me up the wall when my eggs taste like steak . Yuck!

  2. Kim says

    I love brownie skins. Also the hard edges and corners. I will demolish an entire brownie pan by pulling them off to eat. My family still eats the rest and they know better not to complain since I am the producer of foods. Weird? Yes. But also very delicious.

  3. Michelle Springer says

    I also need to put on a fresh pair of underwear when I shower. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in that.

    Also, I can’t stand the feel of the tab on a can of soda (not that I drink so much of those anymore). I think it may have been because, as a child, we were always saving those tabs for one reason or another so we were always pulling them off. Now, I can’t drink anything in a can without first pulling the tab off.

    And I get really annoyed when someone asks you to do something without saying please. Maybe that’s the half Southern girl in me, but it sounds like you’re ordering me around if you don’t say please.

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