Just between us is when we get together once a month or so and say the things that you think but don’t really say. Or you do say, but only to certain people. I’ll go first, then you share in the comments and everyone will feel a whole lot better.
Just between us…
1. You know what I don’t get? Those women’s suits that look like pyjamas. How are people supposed to know whether you’re dressed up or whether you’re just a slob and you’re going to work in your pyjamas?
Wait. Are these people working in their pyjamas? Have they cracked the code?
2. Whenever my husband is travelling on a weekend I feed my kids and myself frozen pizzas for dinner. They’re easy, they’re tasty, and they’re good enough. Now you know.
3. The sound that my child makes when he hurts himself doing something stupid that I’ve probably told him to stop doing is quite probably my least favourite sound in the entire world. It makes me want to give him something to really cry about, if you know what I mean.
4. I once read that if you have trouble with ruminating or thinking excessively negative thoughts (which I do) one way to break out of it is to list all of the books on your book shelf or something that has a pattern to it to help your brain switch gears.
I do this often when I’m swimming (because for some reason when I’m swimming I get into fights in my head that haven’t actually happened) and recite from the top shelf down. I can now list every book without missing one.
5. I donate to charities, and often, but I haaaaaaaate getting stopped on the street by those people collecting money for charity. Whenever I see them I always pull out my phone and answer a fake phone call and give them an apologetic look as I rush by.
This is also how I used to deal with annoying patrons who wouldn’t stop talking when I was working at the front desk of the pool I used to work at. Our phone had a really quiet ring, so I’d just answer it whenever and process a fake swimming lesson registration until the annoying person went away.
6. Do you think some people just can’t smell some other people? I was working with this guy on a contract recently who smells AWFUL. I’d literally have to hold my breath when he came by my desk to chat with me. And then he’d tell me about his girlfriend and I’d be like, omg someone shares a bed with that smell? Why? How?
7. You know what else I don’t get? People who wear hats that don’t cover their ears. Aren’t your ears freezing?!
8. There is a guy who commutes to work along the same route as I do who goes by rollerblade, and I gotta say, I salute that guy. First of all, he’s a deft rollerblader, and decked out in a helmet, elbow pads, and knee pads, he looks pretty rad in the bike lane.
We go down a super steep hill and he does this crazy move to slow down that almost always takes other people out and is hilarious every single time. I love him for being rollerblades to work guy. I also hate trying to get around him and his crazy erratic moves. But mostly I appreciate the whole scenario for being completely ridiculous.
9. Every time my son wakes up way too early I pick him up and whisper, “eff you, eff you, eff you” into his sweet fuzzy little ears. I do not feel bad about it.