Just between us is when we get together once a month or so and say the things that you think but don’t really say. Or you do say, but only to certain people. I’ll go first, then you share in the comments and everyone will feel a whole lot better.
Just between us…
1. I drink a lot more water when I’m at work than when I’m at home, probably because I’m bored or sitting a lot or hungry or whatever. Maybe because getting up to go pee means a time out in the bathroom?
I don’t know, but I’m constantly refilling my water bottle, and it makes me think I must have been dangerously dehydrated for much of the last year.
2. Hypothetical situation: you’re in the middle of washing dishes and you have to go to the bathroom. Let’s say it’s a number two.
Knowing that immediately after going to the bathroom you’ll be plunging your hands back into hot soapy water to finish the dishes, do you wash your hands first? Or do you assume that the dish washing also qualifies as hand washing?
Asking for a friend.
3. Even though it came out in 1992, I can still sing the entire anthem from the movie A League of Their Own from memory, and often do. Damn that Gena Davis sure could play ball.
4. I wish day care would stop sending home my kid’s crappy art. He’s three, not Picasso.
When it gets sent home, I have to sneak it into the recycling bin when he’s not looking and then act surprised and upset about it being in there if he ends up finding it.
5. You know what weirds me out? People with suuuuuuuuper white teeth. Like blindingly white where it’s hard to ignore the fact that they’ve had them whitened, and probably recently.
I was in a meeting with a guy last week and I could not stop looking at his freakishly white teeth. And it makes me wonder, do people with super white teeth stare at my teeth and think about how not white they are?
6. Every time we make crispy potato wedges or chickpea fries or something similar, my husband says, “we should make an aioli to go with this” which makes me want to punch him in the nuts for two reasons:
1) Because he doesn’t know what aioli means. What he actually wants is a spicy, yogurt-based chipotle dipping sauce and aioli means garlic sauce. I explain this Every. Single. Time.
And 2) Because “we should make aioli” doesn’t actually mean he’s going to participate in making it. What it means is “I want you to make me some sauce.” So learn to make your own damn “aioli” then! Fuck the patriarchy!
7. You know what annoys me? People who don’t bother to pedal their bikes on a slight downhill. I have places to be! Use your legs!
8. My proper training swim suit doesn’t fit me well anymore, and I’m too much of a tight wad to buy a new one right now, so I’ve started swimming laps in my “recreational” bathing suit instead.
I was walking out on the pool deck heading in it and thinking to myself, oh my god I look like a mom…. Oh wait…
9. Whenever I lock up my stuff at the pool I look at the number of the locker and my trick for remembering the locker number is to ask myself, “how old am I not?” which is ridiculous because the number is always different, but somehow it always works. NOW YOU KNOW THE CODE.
10. Every time I make myself a cup of tea I have to set a timer for five minutes while it steeps or else I will forget about it and be stuck with very strong, very lukewarm tea. Most of the time I silence my alarm and end up forgetting anyways. The struggle is real.